It’s funny how kinks find us, completely out of the blue.
I’d always been fascinated with BDSM and Kink after watching the Story of O at Fifteen, but it wasn’t until a few years later that it was confirmed. I was at an Ex Boyfriends Parents house, and we were fucking in his bedroom. I must’ve gotten a little loud, as he slammed his hand over my mouth. He immediately realised he’d been a little heavy handed, apologising profusely, whilst I realised that I liked him being ‘rough’ with me. And so it began.
My introduction to what would become a smoking kink happened years earlier, at a New Year’s Eve Party thrown by extended family.
I was probably preteen, given the stack of Point Horror books I’d gotten for Christmas, already dogeared in my suitcase upstairs.
The party was pretty tame, and I found myself wondering how I could get away with slinking off upstairs to read some more. Then she walked in and everything went silent in my head.
I don’t remember her name, she was a friend of the extended family we were staying with. But heads turned when she walked into the room.
Her hair was wild, long and tangled tight curls in a gleaming rust tone. Her stiletto nails were long and manicured and her clothes were expensive and jewel toned.
I just kind of stared at her whilst I nibbled nervously on pretzels and dips, wishing that one day I could be so bold.
She moved around the party like Stevie Nicks, hair and skirt swishing, reminding me of the Fleetwood Mac Gigs my Dad had taped on Beta Max.
She took a seat on the sofa opposite the one I sat on, pulling a small box out of her clutch, from which a Sobranie cigarette appeared between her fingers. Pastel and gold. I swear to god my mouth fell open, I thought she was the baddest bitch I’d ever seen.
She sat there opposite me, smoking and chatting to our mutual friends. I think I stared the entire time, a little bit in awe of how she handled herself.
I never met her again, but she remains vivid in my memory. Not sexual, just completely smitten. I like to think shes aged into Myrtle Snow from American Horror Story Coven.
I started smoking at Fourteen, the Hairdressers in the Salon I worked at as a Saturday Girl would buy them for me.
When my Mum wasn’t home, I’d sit in front a mirror in my bedroom and smoke, trying and failing to teach myself how to blow smoke rings. Anyone who knows me, knows I take a lot of long bubble baths. I’d smoke in the water. A towel across the bottom of the door, window open, candles burning. I’d flick the ash into the water and flush the butts down the toilet.
I guess it fit well with my oral fixation, and the Women smoking in the old French movies I watched when I was a teenager trying to be cool.
I’d channel the Witchy, Redheaded Stevie from the Party, and a pinch of Jean Seburg in À Bout de Souffle.
I eventually gave up smoking. But every now and then, when I had the house to myself, I’d treat myself to a Smoke in the bath. It was a good day the first time I ordered Sobraine cigarettes online, those pastel and gold smokes are something else.
I still don’t smoke, aside from the rare occasion I’ll buy a pack on a night out. But there’s something about it I still adore.
I live for Smoking Fetish bookings, because they allow me to channel that part of me, whilst also seeing to my other love. Companionship.
And then there’s the small detail of you. You also win. You get to watch my inner bad bitch enjoying a fantasy smoke treat.
Tougher laws on online sales have made it almost impossible to buy Sobraines anymore, so if you ever see them, be a darling and pick me up a couple of boxes?
Last Autumn I was treated to a gorgeous silver cigarette case, from the sixties I believe. I’d told the gift giver, a favourite client from overseas, that I had a bit of a smoking fetish and he saw it at an antique market and gave it to me on our farewell date.
So I guess the take away is that I love smoking fetish bookings and you’ll be treated to not only a little redheaded witch fire, and a little Gamine French elegance, but also a little Donald Draper swagger with my new accessory.
Oh and, Smokings bad for you. Not spons.